...confusion....

Life is so confusing right now....

My biological brother to the right [-->]
wants me to come to South Korea and teach English there. I think that he has in his head that I will move to South Korea permanently. I don't think that he understands what my family here in the U.S. means to me.

Yes, my birth mother might be my "mother", but she's not my "mom." My mom is here in the U.S. She was the one who held me when I needed someone the most.

I love my birth family, but I don't think I could,
or ever will live in South Korea.... Yes, I would
LOVE to visit them for a couple weeks, but I
don't think I will ever live there.

So as an ending, please just pray for me. I'm
confused, and worried about how my brother
will take the news.

Love,
me

Sorry I haven't written here lately.

My depression is back, and that's not too exciting to write about.

Happy Father's Day!!

Happy Father's Day.

I realize that it says Monday June 22, 2009, but this posting is only 10 mins past Sunday June 21, 2009.... Father's Day.

I spent the day w. my dad. We went for dinner. We played Banana Grams. It was fun. I took a nap.... ended up being woken up by a friend who invited me to go to Tunnel Park w. him and his daughter. Fun times. :) I didn't have a swimsuit w. me. He laid on top of me w. his soaking wet body... It was COLD!!!

It was a good day though. :)

Love,
Me

Hello

Hi!!
Hope everyone has been doing well. I've been busy working... a lot!! I've got 40 hrs this week, which is nice... Lots of 3rd shifts too... which isn't so bad.... I found out from a co-workers who only works third shift that during the week, you get an $1 per hour, and $2 on the weekend... So that's super cool... Anyway have a great night!!

Love,
Me

3rd Shift the next 3 nights...

I am working 3rd shift at the hospital the next 3 nights..... *sigh*
Oh well, it's not so bad once you get used it. It's just trying to get
used to the goofy hours that you're awake and you're used to
sleeping during those hours.

One of my guy friends continues to pester me about dating him.
The answer is still the same. I like him as a friend, but nothing
more than that. He just doesn't seem to understand that....
*sigh*

This week looks like it's going to be nice weather wise. I'm going
to start running again....

My friend who will be in the Army Reserves when he comes home
in August [he graduates in 71 days], is planning on making me do an
APFT [Army Physical Fitness Test]... ha ha ha... Good luck w/ that one.
Supposedly I have to do 18 push-ups, 18 sit-ups, and run 2 miles in under
18 minutes... Lol... Should be an interesting time.

Anyway have a great week!!
Love,
Me

Third shift...here we come!!

Tonight I start 3rd shift at the hospital.... 6:30pm to 2:30am... I have a feeling I'm going to pass out while dishing up pudding... lol.. j/k. I train on it tonight, and then tomorrow night, I'm all by myself... I should be okay; I hope.

Anyway wish me good luck!
Love,
Me

Super tired!!

I am super tired. I worked today from 6:30am to 2:30pm.... AND I only slept for 4 hrs last night. :( I went to bed around 12:30ish, and just could not fall back to sleep. Oh well, work went well, even if it was kinda busy.

I work tomorrow, and I picked up a shift for Saturday night. Then Saturday night I will be heading down to Holland, and Sunday morning.... Pastor Jim Boer is back from his 4-month sabbatical!! :-)

Anyway have a great night!
Love,
Me

Happy June!!

It's June. That's crazy. Anyway have a great night!!

Love,
Me

Dad came home.

Dad came on Wednesday afternoon. I surprised him at the airport.
It was lots of fun. His face when he saw me waiting in the lobby was
pretty hysterical. "What are you doing here?!" Is the face I got. Ha
ha....

Anyway have a great day!!

Love,
Me

Relay for Life

Relay for Life is [was] tonight and tomorrow here in East Grand Rapids. We had the luminaries ceremony tonight, and for some reason all I could think of was Vickie Comdure. She passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2005.

Her two Korean born children Nick and Chelsea were still living at home.

I remember the day that my mom told me. I had just started taking the anti-depressant Prozac and it completely turned off my emotions. I was unable to cry. My dad was kind enough to drive me to Lowell to say good-bye to Vickie and to give her husband Orin, and their kids my condolences.

Stepping up to the coffin to see Vickie's body is when I lost it. The tears came. I sobbed in my dad's arms for at least 10 minutes.

I pray for the families that have lost a member to cancer. I also pray for the survivors. Fight the battle; you have so many people that love you.

Love,
Me

Dad left today

Dad left today for Uganda for 16 days. I had to say good-bye to him last night. I cried. I'm such a daddy's girl.

Say a prayer for him and the group of Hope College students that he went with.

Love,
Me

It's been a good day. A long day, but good. I went to the Saturday parade. I went to the Star Trek movie. Now I'm just relaxing and talking to some dear friends online.

Anyway have a great night!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there too!!

Hi!!

It's been busy.

Sorry I haven't written anything here lately. I've been busy.

This past weekend I went down to Saline, MI which is about 25 minutes away from Canton MI. A friend from Baker College lives down there, and I decided to visit her for the weekend. We had lots of fun.

We watched lots of old school movies, Free Willy, Pocahontas, Coyote Ugly, and a few more that I can't remember.

Monday I headed to Albion College to visit my friend Justin VandenBrink. It was so good seeing him. :) I hadn't seen him since his spring break, so it was fun seeing his school. We went to this really good pizza place called Relli's. It's been around for 100 years. It was great! I can't wait to go there again sometime soon. :)

Anyway have a great evening. I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday already. Where did the time go?!

Love,
Me

Hi!

Hi! Today was my 6th day in a ROW!! I'm glad tomorrow is my day off, unfortunately it's my only day off till Saturday when I go to Saline MI, to visit my friend Emily!! I haven't seen her in like a year and a half. I'm super excited!! :-)

Have a good one!

Love,
Me

Sorry it's been a crazy few days!

Sorry for not writing lately. I worked 40 hrs this week, so I was a tad bit busy!! Hope you're all doing well!! Have a great night, and a terrific week! I'll write again soon!!

Love,
Me

The best parents ever!

My co-workers and I were talking at work on Saturday, and two of them were complaining about how much they dislike their parents.

I couldn't help but think of what AMAZING parents I have. They didn't have to adopt me, they didn't have to take care of me, but they did, they do.

So thank you, Mom and Dad, for being the best parents ever!!

I love you!!

As the Lenten season continues...

As the Lenten season continues, in the back of my head,
I am constantly thinking about how great our Lord, and Savior was.
To come down to a sin filled world. To live among us, and then to give
the ultimate sacrifice, his own life. For me, for you, and the rest of the world.
[The following video may be unsuitable for young children]

The song, The Power of the Cross, is one of my new favorite
"Easter" songs. It's such an amazing song.

Anyway have a great evening, and a terrific week!
Love,
Me

Missing her.

I miss her. Her being my birth mother.

I don't really get emotional about talking about her as much as I used to, but Tuesday I was talking with a couple of my co-workers about Korea and such, and I could hear my voice cracking as I talked.

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I found the gold wedding band she gave me when I met her, and I wore it today. I'm not sure why I feel so sad right now, but I miss her so much.

People don't understand, but I don't care. It's hard to understand something this huge.

Anyway I hope that you have a great day, and I will write again soon.
Love,
Me

The weekend is here!

The weekend is here, and I have to work.
Only today though, so it's not too bad,
but it's only a 4-hr shift... unfortunately.



The picture above is Elora and her new baby brother.
I stopped by for a visit on Thursday b/c otherwise I
wouldn't have been able to see them until next weekend.
Elora isn't quite sure what to think of Jacob.

I think that she secretly loves him, but she won't admit it,
yet anyway... She is still unsure of whether she likes him
or not. I asked her if she liked him when I saw her on Thursday
and she was like, "I don't know."

Anyway have a great weekend, and I will write again soon!
Love,
Me