I was watching the 6 o'clock news today at work while passing by patient rooms delivering trays. Ken De Kleine had been plotting to kill Lori for a year. He wanted to kill her on January 31st 2007 after she obtained a PPO against him. It breaks my heart that this family had to be torn apart like this. I'm saddened and kinda upset at him right now.
I know that he was a family friend, but it just frustrates me.
*sigh*
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4 comments:
He was a family friend of your family or were the kids?
You are "kinda upset?" Or did you mean that you are disgusted and outraged. He killed his wife. He admitted it.
You will understand the situation when you look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder (and anti-social personality disorder). Sam Vaknin describes the disorder very well. You will not be confused at all how this "nice man" could commit murder if you learn about this disorder. These are the traits: preoccupied with power, lack of empathy and conscience, charming (good-looking, many times), manipulative, charming, lack of true emotion (but can fake emotion very well by learning appropriate emotional responses to social situations), very selfish, etc. They are ususally "nice men" in public and many do not believe the wife.
You see, I was married to a man for a long time. He still goes faithfully (twice a Sunday) to the CRC church. He has NPD and when I finally had the guts to divorce him, he got even more vicious. He told everyone lies about me to my 3 kids just as Ken did about Lori. It is common for a man with NPD to do this when the wife leaves him. He claims that she is mentally incapable of taking care of the children. Young women like you should be aware of this personality disorder because it is becoming more and more common. And of all the people with the narcissistic personality disorder, 75% of them are men. You will not know that your boyfriend has this disorder unless you marry him. It is usually only then that the true mean person comes out.
Have you ever heard of this disorder?
Don't let the above comment bother you. You have every right to the emotions you feel.
I know you are hurting. A man you knew and thought highly of has done a horrible thing to a woman you knew and respected. You know their kids.
Knowing about a disorder doesn't take away the confusion of questions like, "Where was God during all of this?" Or the confusion of how someone could fool so many people? Even, "why does such evil exist?"
The person who wrote this is angry, with every right to be. But you have a right to your feelings too.
I am angry with Ken. But I am also overwhelmed with general sadness these days and it makes me feel "kinda upset" too.
I apologize for implying that the "kinda upset" remark was not a strong enough statement to describe how you were feeling. "Kinda upset" could mean anything and I should have not assumed that it meant that you minimized the murder. I also think that you sound like an incredibly wise, God-fearing woman--wise beyond your years, and you are definitely smarter than I was at your age and even until I was 40 or so. Maybe someone you know, however, might need to be aware of these types of men. Without even trying, God is sending so many woman into my path who have the same story as mine. I believe this problem is so common and so hidden. The men in their lives were "church people," wealthy or at least not poor, well-educated, pillars of the community.
Bethany, keep on with how you are living your life. I admire you and your stance for Christ. Enjoy your life and your boyfriend and family. Looks like they raised you right in loving God.
I am so sorry you are hurting, Bethany. Hearing the news about this makes me so sad too. Just wanted you to know I am praying for you and everyone touched by this devastating situation.
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